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Stop Your Divorce With a Serious Professional Advice

May 26, 2012

Marriage Counseling is a very real preventative and ongoing choice for a healthy union continuation.

Currently 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. Celebrations of twenty-five or more anniversaries are becoming rare. Marriage counseling and professional relationship advice could and would decrease this trend. You should first try Relationship Advice!

Think of it in terms of gardening or vehicle and house maintenance. As we change our parenting techniques with the growth and development of our children so is our relationship growing which also demands our attention to changes and needs. A relationship advice from a friend or clergy have always been in this area however many couples may need the specialized talents of a “Marriage Counselor” to provide for the appropriate professional relationship advice.

These are the main issues you want to take a professional advice about:

Intimacy versus independence: It is common to adopt declarations regarding the empowerment of the self and individual creativeness. Similar declarations are needed in my opinion regarding the empowerment of true intimacy. More often I find the lack of shared intimacy among couples who use these terms. It has been my observation that in many cases partners with conflict have had deep difficulty to trust each other. This conflict developed either to protect their autonomy or strengthen it. Sadly enough, many of the couples I have met never had a chance to inherit intimacy and heart to heart communication patterns from their parents. Intimacy therefore is a priority on my agenda for the couples’ marriage counseling and relationship advice.

Sexuality: I often check how quickly my clients are willing to examine their sexuality patterns. Sexual communication is complicated and difficult. We knew at the start of our relationship how to keep our sexuality alive with intrusions of work or family obligations. In time, couples develop the tendency to overlook this issue. Related to sexuality is the issue of romance. The effort to ‘fall in love again’, should be considered as a life long term mortgage. A good marriage counseling program will use ‘mechanical building blocks’ in order to keep the romantic spirit alive.

Styles of Communication: Every couple faces situations that are identical to any business team: who does what, why, and when: to purchase, to expand (children?) or not, and so on. Executive roles are part of marriage life, so communication and decision making skills must be analyzed, re-shaped and smartly shared.

Fighting resistance: People love the comfort zone of stability and resist change, even if their circumstance is gloomy. My marriage counseling process always includes some tactics to overcome objections and rejection of new modalities: mirroring and feedback regarding withdrawal from conflict, rules to avoid the tendency to escalate conflict during disagreements in our sessions and rules to avoid sabotaging our progress by provocative acts and attitudes by either partner, in- between our sessions.

Here are three short case summaries: A young couple with no children yet, wanted to break their four year pattern of quickly disputing about (money, location of residence, relatives and social lifestyle) which always intensified into a long hostile silence. Once they accepted my Online Marriage Counseling assessment that it was prior modeling, unconsciously acquired from parents of both sides that caused their bad habits, it was easy to find the alternatives. They quickly adopted constructive ways of decision making and conflict resolution techniques.

A handsome and very rich 40 year old male regressed into a situational depression: he could not function in his life after a devastating break-up with whom he was so ready to marry. Obviously, it was NOT just Relationship Advice counseling he needed, but a re-evaluation of his value system regarding the needs of women. As his Online Counselor and Life Coach I encouraged him to utilize qualities that he previously regarded as too feminine: listening, showing interest, expressing feelings and seeking advice or help. When he started dating again he leaned on his personality, not his money, without a fear of failure.

A couple’s intimacy faded after two years of marriage. Their sessions with me started as Stress Management Life coach and Relationship Advice provider but developed soon into Online Marriage Counseling, once it was revealed that the outside involvement of family members was the main destructive factor in their lives.

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2 Comments
  1. Helpful tips thanks for shading with us divorce professionals

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